Sunday, September 2, 2012

This is SO not your fault!

I either have AWESOME rides where all the stars align and I feel great, perfect weather, pace is fast, or I have HORRIBLE rides. I get lost, flat, rained on for 70 miles, run out of fluids for 20 miles, etc. I don't know why I can't seem to find middle ground in training these days.

Unfortunately, many of my bad days are when I am riding with Jason. I may have a tendency to blame him on occasion for things not going well for me. After all, he rides too fast, he tries to drop me on purpose, makes me work too hard, he always insists that we ride really hilly courses, and he is constantly yelling "quick like a bunny! come on!" when we stop to refuel.

Last night Jason told me that he wasn't sure it was a good idea for us to ride together. He "claimed" that I might blame him if I didn't have a good day. Since I had already rode 91 miles the day before I was supposed to ride 8.5 hours in the gaps, instead of doing the ride Saturday and a 4 hour recovery ride Sunday like my coach had on my plan, I kinda already knew things weren't going to be that awesome. Little did I know......

5:54 am I see blue lights flashing behind me on 400. REALLY? Again? Cops love to pull me over. There must be something about the way I drive that just attracts them to me, because I get more tickets than anyone I know. I looked down at my phone and see a text from Jason "theres a cop shooting radar at 400 & 285". Well, can't blame the ticket on him, he tried to warn me!
I just wanna go fast! 

I normally eat super clean, pretty normal food. Of course, I choose last night to eat things I don't normally do. I offered some of these said foods to Jason as well and he responded "I'm not eating that crap the day before the gaps." Suite yourself. More for me.

My food decisions came back to haunt me right before we started to ride. I've been VERY fortunate in both training and racing that I've never really had many GI issues. There was one time when Jason left all our nutrition at home and I rode 165 miles fueled by convenience store bought honey buns and pay days and it didn't sit well, but other than that, I've been lucky.

We climbed Woody's and I didn't feel that great. We started up Wolfpen and I thought I was going to vomit. Then it started raining. Lots and lots of rain. Of course, we kept riding, and making that descent down wolfpen in the rain was SCARY.

I told Jason I needed to stop because I thought I was going to be sick. We pulled over and I told him I couldn't get anything down without feeling like it was coming right back up. My stomach was in a full on revolt. Jason suggested that I turn around because continuing would just put me further and further away from the car. He said that without food I would start cramping and bonk. "I want to go that way" I said, pointed up Jack's and away from the car. So we starting climbing. I decided to stop trying to take fuel in and just sip on water. By the time we got to the top I knew continuing would be impossible. Jason was right. I needed calories and since my stomach wasn't feeling better I should probably head back to the car which was still at least 1.5 hours away.

The irony of the situation was how fantastic my legs felt! I was climbing with Jason and not putting out much effort. I felt surprisingly fresh which made bailing on the ride that much more depressing.

Pro tip: riding for more than 2 hours with no fuel will cause you to BONK. Just an FYI.

I made it back to the car, slightly delirious, still unable to eat, and tried to text Jason only to find out that my phone was totally fried. For that I blame for showing a 20% chance of rain, otter box for being a complete and total FAILURE, and the two ziploc bags I used for sucking as well. This just SUCKS. Guess I am making a trip to the dreaded Apple Store.

I decided to drive straight to the Apple store because I have to have a phone ya know? Without a clean sports bra to change into my shirt was getting really wet. I decided to take the shirt off and let it dry on the dash of my car. Changing while driving isn't my strong suite, and my shirt got caught on my hat, causing me to swerve. Apparently swerving caught the eye of a police officer, and next thing you know I am pulled over.

"Good afterno-----" It took about that long for Officer Wide Eyes to realize I didn't have a top on. And I was freezing.

Let the rambling begin.....
"I know why you pulled me over. I was taking my top off and I couldn't see for a minute. I had to take it off because I got rained on while I was riding my bike and it ruined my phone and I am going to the Apple store. I already got a speeding ticket this morning and my boyfriend is a cop and he's going to be pissed. So I am sorry. Please don't give me a ticket."

He started laughing, told me to have a good day and walked off.

I would like to publicly say that none of the days mishaps are in any way directly related to, or a result of Jason. This was so not your fault. Clearly, todays events were the conspiracy of multiple people.