Explanation Impossible!

Have you ever told someone something that you are planning on doing, and then realized that they REALLY don't understand at all? That would be me with my bike ride across Florida!

I contemplated whether or not I was going to tell my dad about it. I didn't want him to be upset with me. But we talk EVERY day at 5:00 pm and if he cannot get in touch with me he blows my phone up, so I figured it was best to tell him I would be unavailable to talk. I did my best to explain, but he only halfway listens. Here are a few of our following conversations:

Dad: "I was thinking about your marathon. It won't take that long right? If you are averaging 30 mph...."
Me:"It's a bike ride. And I won't be averaging 30 mph it will be A LOT slower."
Dad: "So more like 10 mph? Hum.....yeah.....that's gonna take a while."

Dad: "What did you do today?"
Me: "Rode 150 miles."
Dad: "Wow! You are really getting ready for that marathon!"
Me: "It's a bike ride Dad."

Dad:"Are you going to workout today?"
Me: "Yep. Swam this morning, now I am going to run and lift weights."
Dad: "Dang! That's a lot of working out. I bet you are going to win your age group in your marathon!"
Me: "There are no age groups. It's a solo record break attempt"
Dad: "Well then you sure sound like you are going to kick Jason's ass!"

Dad: "Hey, how did that thing go last night where you stayed up all night? Was Jason with you?"
Me:"Yes, it went really well. I rode about 211 miles."
Dad: "111 miles? That's great honey!"
Me:" No Dad, TWO HUNDRED ELEVEN MILES."
Dad: "HOLY SHIT."

Even better than explaining things to dad is telling the people at work. As you know, I work in a retirement community. I LOVE my "old peeps". They live vicariously through my training and adventures. They really and truly love hearing about my races. Everything I do is a "half-marathon" Most of these people are in their 80's and 90's and cannot conceptualize this amount of physical activity. They are very active, but organized racing, especially done by a woman, was totally unheard of when they were young. They ask the funniest questions and think of things that you and I never would. When I told them about Jason's first 100 miler, done in the rain and mud the first thing they said was "How did you keep the mud from getting in the car?"

So every Monday they wait in anticipation for me to tell them what I did. If I "raced a half marathon" and won my age group, by the end of the day I am an Olympic speed skater. Information gets very skewed very quickly around here.

I told them about the bike ride mostly because I am not sure what type of shape I will be in after it. Last year after Cedar Point 140.6 they offered me their walkers. I didn't want anyone to be upset if I am limping around for a few days. It's taken about 2 months of me telling them about my training for it to FINALLY sink in. They get it. I am going to ride all day and all night. And NO, I will not be stopping to brush my teeth.

When I arrived Monday a man said "Dani! What did you do this weekend! Ride 100 miles!?" After I explained the overnight 211 miler the sweetest 94 year old lady looked me dead in the eyes and said "I will be praying for you."

Not sure if she meant my physical well being or for my sanity, but whatever. I'll take it.

Confession: I have NO IDEA what I am doing!

Expectations: Always Aim High!

As most of you already know, I am a self-coached athlete. This has been my choice since I started this sport in 2006. I've had a pretty interesting progression that looked something like this:

2006 Season: New to the sport, jumped in with my training buddies on whatever they were doing

2007 Season: Recovering from being hit by a car and breaking my leg. Mostly rehab.

2008: Let's do an Ironman! Brilliant! Used a book by Matt Fitzgerald with training plans.

2009 Season: Totally self-coached, did whatever I wanted. Gains made. Got faster. I attribute most of this to recovering from injuries from my accident

2010 Season: Jason halfway coaches me. I adopt his training principles. Even more gains are made, and I PR in every distance race I competed in.

2011 Season: Jason doesn't really have the time/energy to coach me. With no races or events longer than an Olympic triathlon I lack the real motivation for triathlon training. Spent a while recovering from a ruptured bursa sac. Performances declined for my repeat races from last season. Felt like I was just going through the motions. No speedwork completed in anything other than biking.

So there you have it. My career in a nutshell. What everything boils down to is this: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING! Yes, I can totally train/coach myself for shorter distance races. But a 420 mile ride? I've never even MET someone that has ridden that far, let alone know how to train for it. A double Ironman in February? Eh, that's a whole other story. So.......I think I NEED a coach. BUT......I don't really want one. Here is why:

I have always thought that this sport is "for fun" I don't win money. I pay money to do this. My approach to training is actually very laid back( contrary to popular belief). Yes, I train a lot. But it's super laid back. I change my plans all the time. I do what I want, when I want. This makes training fun for me and I ALWAYS want to workout.

BUT.....I, like most athletes that I know, tend to spend unequal amounts of time dedicated to the 3 disciplines. No doubt, cycling is my one and only real gift in this sport. Because I am good at it and love it, I will choose that over anything else. Sadly, swimming and running take a backseat. Actually running has taken more than a backseat. It's been boxed up and in the trunk. My "long" run career is so pathetic that I can actually count every long run I have ever done. 1 18 miler before my 2 IM's, 3-4 15 milers, 1 50k race, 25 miles pacing Jason at Umstead, and about 25-30 walk/run miles at Key West. That. Is. It. Told you I don't run!

My deepest darkest triathlon secret when it comes to why I haven't hired a coach? I don't trust 'em. I have no idea why. In my mind many coaches have one way that works for them, and a majority of their athletes and they want you to train that way. Regardless of whether it works for you. I call it "cookie cutter coaching" and it really bothers me. That and I don't like being told what to do. And if I don't trust you or respect you then I am definitely NOT doing what you say. (The irony of this is that I will listen to a plan in a book written by someone who doesn't know I exist)

I know that the way I do things isn't the best way. It's the way that creates the most fun, not the most speed. I have a degree in Exercise Science and Kinesology for pete's sake and I STILL do things my way. Plain and simple......I am stubborn. So stubborn that it has been detrimental to my athletic endeavors.

I trust Jason. And I trust Shanks. Both are logical and level-headed. They will have disagreements with you without telling you that you are wrong. They understand that there is no such thing as a wrong opinion, and if given factual data, I do believe that they will both change their minds. Shanks has kinda been my advisor of sorts. I send him an occasional text asking if something is a bad idea or not. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don't. But I respect both of their opinions immensely. In a perfect world, there would be a hybrid of Jason and Shanks. They would have Jason's tough love attitude and "I-know-when-you-are-full-of-shit" detection system and Shanks ability to write plans and periodize.

I have looked and looked for a coach. Ok, I made like 2 phone calls and sent 3 e-mails. Jason has been somewhat quiet about the whole thing (he personally thinks it's a waste of $) I have come up with reasons why I need a coach:

-I need to run more, and I need someone to MAKE this happen

-I am tired of getting to the taper period before a big race and wondering whether or not I have done enough

-I need to focus my energy and efforts on the actual TRAINING itself.

-I want to reach my full potential, and I really do believe it's much greater than what my results have shown thus far

Things my Coach HAS to be:

-Open-minded and understanding

-Firm without being bossy

-Allow me to do my core workouts three times a week and lift weights twice a week. I can get a doctor's prescription if I need to. I have to lift weights. Seriously.

-Creative, funny, and NOT sensitive

Who's up for the challenge?

Living a balanced life in an unbalanced world....

I look balanced but trust me it's an illusion!

With Jason training for Epicman (a triple Ironman) and me training for a 420 mile bike ride across Florida, life has changed a bit. We spend our weekends training, preparing to train, traveling to train, or recovering from training. As the weeks drag on to months I have began to feel like I am living, eating, and breathing training and my life doesn't feel very balanced.

The struggle to find balance in life is something that almost everyone I know struggles with. People ask me all the time how I fit in all my training. Personally, I think that I have it a lot easier than most. I don't make half the sacrifices that some of my friends make. One friend I know runs from 4:00-7:00 am before her husband goes to work. She once told me "I want my training to impact my family as little as possible". That is one of the most selfless comments that I have ever heard when it comes to training for an endurance event!

I consider myself quite fortunate that I am in a relationship with someone who will never complain about my training. He will also never complain about me being tired from training (mostly because that rarely happens!). But his support is great, and at the same time a challenge because he can handle volumes of training that would put most people into the ground within days. So he is naturally pretty unsympathetic about having to train for long periods of time.

So what exactly is it about my life that's not balanced? Well, I've never been one to require a lot of social interaction, so the isolation of large volume training weekends doesn't bother me much. It's the leaving the house in the dark, riding all day, and coming home after dark that I have struggled with. There is very little balance when your day consists of doing NOTHING other than riding a bike and eating. It's not the volume of training that has gotten me frustrated. My body has adapted quite well. I am training about 8-10 hours more per week than I would for an Ironman, but feel way more energetic. Less intensity definitely makes the training easier on my body. The flip side is that this training is BORING. I figured it was going to be and I was right! Last week I rode 8 hours solo in the Gaps (north Ga mountains). The extended period of isolation wasn't the issue (I barely saw anyone else) it was the total and complete lack of speed or effort that was driving me nuts. If you know me, you know that I like to ride fast. 8 hour rides call for little or no intensity, especially when you are going to do 5+ hours the following day. It never occurred to me how much I enjoy intensity until it was taken away. Training for ultras is mostly psychological in nature in my opinion. Any fool can ride a bike at a really low heartrate. But can you do it from sunup to sundown? When the wind is howling at you and knocks you over? What about when your feet are frozen and you're hungry? That type of training requires something that a high VO2 max and lactate threshold cannot help you with.

I've thought a lot the past several days about my "imbalanced" life. I've thought about my need to spend more quality time with Jason, play with my dogs more, try and actually relax instead of constantly ripping and running from one place to the next. Then I came across this quote that I really like: "The word happiness would lose it's meaning if not balanced by sadness." -Carl Jung. This could also be interpreted as "how would I know what a balanced life felt like if I didn't occasionally let it get off kilter?" Training like this won't last forever. Our races will come and go and we will regain what very little bit of normalcy that we had in our lives. Nothing worth having is easy, and sacrifices made now are part of achieving huge goals later!

In the meantime I only put in two hours of training yesterday. Why? It was date- night OB/Dani style: post gym, still in workout clothes, eating really healthy. It was quality time that was very much needed in our hectic lives.

I want to leave you with one of my favorite authors of ALL TIME! Dr. Seuss. This is from the book :"Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?"
When you think things are bad,
when you feel sour and blue,
when you start to get mad....
you should do what I do!

Just tell yourself, Duckie,
you're really quite lucky!
Some people are much more...
oh, ever so much more...
oh, muchly much-much more
unlucky than you!

Dr. Seuss is right. I AM lucky! I've got a mind and body that are able to withstand some really crazy stuff and I need to appreciate how many people out there could not do what I am doing. So I am going to be unbalanced, and just hope that I stay upright for the next 4 months!